Merry Christmas. This is my 30th Christmas season. It's not exactly the most exciting Christmas season ever, but it's by no means boring. It's quiet, which is a welcome thing. Right now I'm at the International House of Prayer where I work. My wife is worshipping (playing piano and singing) on the stage in the smaller of our locations. It's 12:15am right now and she has about an hour and a half left. The shifts of worship here last for 2 hours each, then a new worship leader or team gets on stage and does it for another 2 hours. When does it stop? It doesn't. I suppose if you want to be picky then I suppose it might stop for a second or two for a transition. Maybe a piece of paper falling to the floor, or the drop of a guitar pick might cause a long pause of silence. But I believe silence can be worship too, so technically it doesn't stop. Why? Well, for a few reasons, but one that is important to me is the simple fact that the industry of this world doesn't stop...so why should the Christian's. There are people getting high right now, and people in all sorts of lusts. There are kids, teens, college students and even some adults who are up right now watching movies or playing video games...they are doing in a little way what they were created for: being fascinated. That goes for the drug-addict too. They are doing, in essence, something that they were created for. The only problem though is that ultimately it won't satisfy them. That's why I'm here. Because, (1) I was created to be fascinated and God is the primary One who fascinates me, and (2) you need it. See, I'm not just sitting here doing nothing. The fact is that while you're (chances are) sleeping, I'm praying for you. I'm praying that God will reveal Himself to you. I'm praying that you will experience His love.

I'm a seasonal Bill Murray fan. His characters are either completely clueless or completely crass. "What about Bob?"= classic. "The Man Who Knew Too Little" = Not bad. "GroundHog's Day" = border line. The jist of course being that by nature he starts out as a jerk but after being stuck in the same day for long enough, his heart of stone oddly starts to soften into flesh. The reason I mention it is not to talk about Bill Murray, but because I used to approach repentance like this. That is: the "Groundhog's Day" Approach.

So, you mess up. You do the thing that you said you'd never do (if not out loud, at least in your head). Then you, whole or half heartly, say "God, please forgive me." Then you go on, feeling like you're pretty much the worst person ever for awhile, but then you get over it maybe...or maybe you keep it in the back of your head and say, "OK, next time it won't happen. I won't make this mistake again. My guard is up. I'll set up intricate systems of accountablity." Then out of the blue, out of nowhere or out of the inevitable, the one thing that you said that you'd never do...you do.

Like the Apostle Paul, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." Romans 7:15-20

When I was an intern at a church in the LA Harbor area, the pastor that I was interning under spoke at a city-wide youth meeting. He was challenging the kids and asking the question, "How do you cope?" To create a visual for the teens, a guy in the college group went with me (with a video camera) to interview unsuspecting people regarding the question. Some of the answers were interesting. One that I remember, was this big old guy sipping down his coffee in a local coffee house. For awhile he watched from the distance as we interveiwed other people, I'm sure listening to our questions and listening to the answers of others. When we had run out of young adults to question I decided to question the old guy. From the table next to him in the noisy coffee house we asked, "Excuse me sir, how do you cope in life?" Now, I don't know if he was drinking 100% coffee or a mixture of something harder, and I found out that once he started to talk, he was kind of a volatile character. But through a gravelly voice and a few choice words, he said something to the effect of: find out the source of the problem, and get rid of it. "Right, well, thank you for your time sir." Now, in some instances I see how this works. Jesus said (paraphrased), "If your eye makes you sin, pluck it out." In that sense I see how how our coffee house philosipher has a point. But in many ways the problem goes deeper. In many ways the problem in my life is me...and often I would get rid of my sinful nature completely if it were within my power. The problem is that we're depraved. It's not that we aren't as bad as we could be, but rather that we have nothing good in us. The problem that I'm talking about here is sin, and that is something that as humans we are not free of...but we do not have to be consumed by it. Ah, the paradox.

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." Romans 7:21-25

The reason I'm writing on this is because some Christians have textbook answers to the matter. Bible verses to recite as if to say, "Memorize and be free." However, you and I both know that's not the answer. The reality goes much deeper. Christianity is not just words on paper, but the Word on the heart. Christianity is fleshed out in the one who wants God. In this matter there's a wrestling that takes place, a wrestling match called repentance.

Frederick Buechner wrote:
"To repent is to come to your senses. It is not so much something you do as something that happens. True repentance spends less time looking at the past and saying, "I'm sorry," than to the future and saying, "Wow!" (Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking, HarperCollins, 1973)

The thing is that things will happen in this refinery called LIFE. We will fall, but the Christian has a place to fall. The Creator of the Universe loves to show mercy. Actually, in Exodus 34 He called Himself mercy. Yahweh, Yahweh, el Racham. The Lord, the Lord, Merciful.

Now, the point is not to live recklessly in sin, clinging to a Cheap Grace, saying "I'll go to church on Sunday, but right now I'll live in the spirit of this Age." I had that mentality once, and it's a mess...it's a lie.

So to point this writing towards closing, I ask the question that was asked in 1997. "How do you cope?"...that is, with this sinful nature that is a part of our humanity.

I've read Henri Nouwen's book, "The Wounded Healer." While I like some of his books, I just didn't get into that one that much. Really, what I did get out of it was one sentence. A five word sentence:

"Revolution is better than suicide."

It's true. It's almost common sense. Thinking about it, however, either word begs a drastic change. So how do you cope? As my friend Bob the Surfing Evangelist once asked, "Do you dope, rope, mope...or do you hope?"

Hope is not just a sentimental feeling, laying expectation on the line. Hope is lifeblood. It's waking up to a world fallen, and while you don't know where you may end up in 24 hours, you know that wherever you end up you'll be Christ's. That while you might have fallen on the battle field many times, the point isn't the falling, it's the fact that you're alive. Hope is alive and vibrant in repentance. Repentance is a revolution in the heart. It's not just turning your back on something, it's turning your face toward something.

"Jesus, my all. Come and purify me. If the pure in heart shall see You, then purify me...all of me. I look to You and You alone. It's Your kindness that leads me to repentance, so I follow Your kindness. Let Your mercy lead me to Your heart. Give me grace to burn the bridges on yesterday. As I gaze on You, change me. Amen."